MP train scandal

Setting: South west trains service to London Waterloo. Freya is sitting in the quiet (not for long) carriage when an entire class of 12/13 year olds get onto the train. The kid sitting behind me calls over his teacher to show him something.

Kid: Sir, is there an MP called Jacqui?

Teacher: Yes - Jacqui Smith

Kid: Sir, sir, she has left her mobile number on the train.

Teacher: What?

Kid: Look, it's graffitied on the back of this chair "Jaqui, MP, Buckingham Palace, London, Mob: 079....(etc)".

Teacher: I'm pretty sure that wasn't written by Jaqui Smith MP. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't graffiti her personal contact details on the back of a south west trains chair

Kid: I don't know sir, I've heard that they do stupid stuff like that all the time....



How right you are kid, how right you are.....

Let me introduce you to Sonya

I would like to introduce those of you who have not already met Sonya, to my new favourite animal, the Slow Loris. As you can see, she is UNBELIEVABLY cute - look at those eyes! And boy, she loves to be tickled. She also LOVES eating meal worms, which those of you who don't mind creepy-crawlies can check out here. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

I acknowledge that this is diverging massively from the intended subject of my blog, but hey, tough. I couldn't not share Sonya. Everyone needs a slow loris youtube video in their life.

It doesn't look good

Hmmm, having further studied this youtube video, I have to admit that it does sounds rather like "mine mine mine". But I am unwilling to concede this just yet. Have another look and imagine that they just have very strong Australian accents....... Does anyone see where I'm coming from here?

"MATE MATE MATE"

Hmm, I may be clutching at straws.

So they say....but what is it that they say?

Ok guys, I need some help, can you help settle a long-term argument between me and steve? Do the seagulls in Disney's film Finding Nemo shout "mate mate mate" (with aussie accents -phonetically "mite mite mite") or "mine mine mine"?!!!

Please leave a comment below to vote, all opinions welcomed. I will of course publish the results of this vote if you all agree with me.

Thank you

You know its "mate". Ever hear an Aussie say anything else?

Two in one day, phew

Check out this blog, I think it's a great stress-beating concept. We all have to let out our overwhelming anger at poncey bikes in London sometimes (amongst other things).

I'm not sure if this is funny or disturbing

Photo: Jeremy Early

Setting: Kew gardens, by the big duck pond. Freya, sitting on a bench admiring the ducklings, is approached by a very sweet looking grandma dressed in floral print and orthopedic shoes.

Grandma: Oh aren't the ducklings adorable, what sort of duck do you think they are?

Freya: I'm not sure, but they're very cute aren't they? (etc, this innocent duck-based conversation continues for around 5 mins)

Grandma: I was down here the other day watching some lovely coots building a lovely nest...

Freya: Mm-hmm

Grandma: They were terribly busy, collecting lovely twigs, catching lovely bugs....

Freya: Mm

Grandma: ...when all of a sudden they started (grandma's voice goes low and sadistic) they started having SEX (yelled) - MWAH HA HA HA HA

Freya: .............................?

I'm not sure if I should really be so disturbed by pensioners using the S word, and I'm sure her voice wasn't really low and sadistic (though the semi-evil laugh was genuine enough), it just seemed such a strange observation to share, with a random stranger, in a park....? Am I a granny-prude?! OR was she trying to be hip with da kids? Who knows, I think it might just be easier to watch the free wildlife porn than learning how to using the inter-magingey-net-a-ma-doodle... We all gotta get our kicks somewhere.....

FU animals

I just stumbled across this blog (http://fuckyoupenguin.blogspot.com/) and it's hilarious. I'm not exactly sure what the animals have done to provoke such wrath, but hey, they do gratuitously milk their cuteness sometimes, little f**kers.